When Family Becomes a Risk Vector: Reflections on the Sweet Bobby Case
What would you do if you discovered that someone close to you had manipulated your life for years?
The Sweet Bobby case, an impactful documentary based on true events and available on Netflix, presents a story that seems almost unbelievable: Kirat Assi, the victim of an elaborate online deception spanning nearly a decade. The most shocking revelation was that the person behind this manipulation wasn’t who she believed (Bobby), but her own cousin. This deception wasn’t about money or material gain; its sole purpose was to exert emotional control over her.
What is catfishing and how does it affect people?
Catfishing is an online deception where someone creates a fake identity to emotionally manipulate another person. While it’s often associated with romantic relationships, this case shows that it can even occur within a family circle.
The effects of catfishing are devastating: isolation, loss of trust, deep emotional damage, and long-term psychological impact. In Kirat’s case, the sole objective was emotional control—an abuse that highlights the dangerous potential of digital manipulation.
Why would someone do this?
The Sweet Bobby case reflects that threats aren’t always motivated by money. Sometimes, the goal is to manipulate, control, and exert power over someone. Kirat’s cousin built a web of lies, creating over 60 fictional characters to emotionally isolate her. The motivations, though not entirely clear, suggest malice, jealousy, envy, and a profound psychological need for control.
This relative knew Kirat’s weaknesses, desires, and traumas better than Kirat herself. She used this knowledge to manipulate and mock her own family member for nearly a decade, emotionally, romantically, and professionally devastating her life.
How could this happen?
One must ask: how is it possible for a 29-year-old to allow herself to be used for almost a decade without questioning who she was interacting with online? Why didn’t she insist on a video call to at least see the other person’s face?
These are the favorite victims of cybercriminals: trusting, humble people with unresolved traumas, low self-esteem, a lack of self-love, and attention deficits. They are highly manipulable, weak in character, and overly docile in temperament.
The legal gap
The most troubling aspect is that at the time, such cybercrimes did not carry serious penalties—only compensations and apologies to the aggrieved person. The punishment should reflect the damage caused to the victim, as the harm inflicted is irreparable. Through her actions, Simran completely destroyed Kirat’s dreams, aspirations, and ambitions. And worst of all, the victim was not only a woman like her but also her own family.
Situations where even family can be a risk:
Privileged access: Family members often have access to personal information that can be used against us.
Emotional manipulation: Toxic relationships, whether with friends or family, can lead to control, manipulation, or blackmail.
Blind trust: Because they are family or friends, we often don’t question their intentions, leaving us vulnerable to adverse situations, as seen in this case.
Final reflections:
This case reminds us that, beyond external threats, risks can arise within our closest circles. To protect ourselves:
Protect your privacy: Set boundaries about what you share, even with close family.
Identify warning signs: Isolation or lack of direct contact are indicators of potential danger.
Prioritize your emotional well-being: Cybersecurity also includes safeguarding your emotions.
Sweet Bobby is a stark example of how manipulation can come from those we least expect. Are you protecting your personal boundaries?
Hi! I am Kendra Mazara
Senior Information Security Specialist | MBA | Cofounder MujeresTICs RD | Speaker | LinkedIn Learning Instructor
